Goodbye she needed
by Andromeda of Othrys
Summary: Cho hadn't realized it, but she never really wanted to let go of Cedric, even though she tried her best to behave as such.


**House: Slytherin**

 **Category: Bonus**

 **Theme: Achieving a goal**

 **Prompt:** ** **Saying goodbye to the love of your life.****

 ** **Word count: 1,513****

* * *

There is always that one love we claim is 'the one'. We convince ourselves that they are the love of our life, the one we would happily spend the rest of our lives with. Be it the first love or the hundred and first, that love always feels special.

It shouldn't be a surprise that it's almost impossible to let go of that love.

No one could say that Cho didn't try her hardest to do so, though.

Cedric was dead. The cold, bitter truth was inescapable: she woke up to it every morning, when she would spot the necklace he gave her for the Yule Ball lying innocently on her nightstand. She should've thrown it out – everyone had told her it was not healthy to hold on so desperately – but she couldn't force herself to do so. It was the only physical thing of his she had: she was afraid that, if she got rid of it, she would only be left with wispy, ever-fading memories.

The crux of the matter was that she didn't want to let go of him, and that sabotaged her every attempt of doing so.

Dating Harry was the best example of her trying and her subconscious sabotaging her on every turn. It was obvious from a mile away that Harry had a crush on her but had no idea how to act on it. He was inexperienced, which was an honest surprise considering the fact he had a female best friend, and rough around the edges – a complete opposite of kind, smooth Cedric.

Still, he'd been so different that she'd been grateful. Looking at him, she wouldn't be reminded of Cedric… and yet she was. He was the Hogwarts Champion who went into the maze and _survived_ , and every time she remembered that, she felt tears welling in her eyes. Dating Harry should've worked; however, it backfired in the most spectacular of ways. At the time, Cho could not understand what was happening, so wrapped up in desperate attempts to get over Cedric.

It took her quite a bit to understand that, and boy did she have the worst timing for a ground-breaking revelations.

Now, nearly two years later, as she fought for her life and freedom of the magical Britain, she finally understood what she needed to do. What she had to do to finally move past Cedric and live normally, like he would want her to.

Now, she only needed to survive this, and she'd wrap it up once and for all.

The gravemarker in the Ottery St. Catchpole cemetery was nothing too ostentatious: a name and two dates engraved into the unfeeling white marble, and a small picture in porcelain immortalizing Cedric's smile.

For the first time, Cho did not try to hold back her sobs. She had never allowed herself to grieve openly in the last two years. The war was coming - she had believed in Harry from the get-go, after all - and the feelings would've crippled her, made her vision hazy and unstable.

She couldn't have been more wrong, though. It took her too long to realize it, but she consoled herself that she had done it. She could've stayed blind to her idiocy for the rest of her life. That would've been far worse.

"Hey, Ced," she whispered through her tears, voice cracking over every syllable. "I've been a horrible girlfriend, haven't I? Never visiting, trying not to think about you and doing the stupidest thing to make myself forget… Merlin, you would've hexed me silly."

She folded her legs, kneeling on the ground and laying down the wreath of white and peach roses. Luna had given it and a plain card to her when she asked for the directions to the cemetery with a mysterious smile. The card explained the meaning of the roses, and Cho was not ashamed to admit they nearly got her bawling there and then.

White roses for loyalty.

Peach roses for innocence and sense of missing your beloved.

Two things she tried her hardest to get rid of when it came to Cedric in the past two years, and failed miserably.

"It's ironic, you know. You were never the one for resolving the fight with spells, but I know you'd hex me just to drive the point across."

She chuckled dryly, waving her wand and conjuring a handkerchief to dry her tears a bit: her vision was getting too blurry, and she wanted to see Cedric's face while she talked.

"Then again, it took me the longest to admit I liked you, and even longed to figure out just how much. For a Ravenclaw, I sure am the stupider one between the two of us. You always knew what to say and do to make everything go smoothly."

Here, Cho took out the necklace he gave her. She had not worn it since that terrifying night of the Third Task, when Cedric entered the labyrinth with a small smile and exited it with eyes open and body cold. The little golden snitch-shaped pendant winked at her in the light of the rising sun, sparkling and fluttering in the imitation of the real thing.

 _"For the second best seeker in Hogwarts!" Cedric grinned as he handed her the pendant._

 _"Oh!" Cho gasped, watching as the wings came to life in her hands. "It's so pretty!"_

 _"Nothing but the best for you."_

 _"And… only the second best?" Chon pouted playfully, motioning for her boyfriend to help her put the necklace on. "Second to you?"_

 _"Oh no," Cedric laughed good-naturedly. "I'm the third best! You have to admit, Potter has us both beat."_

 _"But you won against him!" Cho reminded him, suppressing a shiver as she felt Cedric's breath on her neck._

 _"It wasn't fair," Cedric sighed. "The kid had a terrible reaction to the Dementors. I saw him heading for the Snitch - he saw it before me. He's damn good - after all, he can ignore you when he's playing!"_

 _"Is that an insult, Cedric Amos Diggory?" Cho narrowed her eyes._

 _Cedric instantly backtracked, arms raised in surrender._

 _"No, no! I mean, you're just so pretty, it's difficult to concentrate when I'm playing against - "_

 _Laughing, Cho cut him off with a quick peck on the mouth._

"Remember when you gave me this?" Cho smiled through still falling tears. "I was so happy you gave me this - I no longer needed to hope you were really invested in us. You really wanted us to be together, and not just for the Yule Ball. And then you went off and got yourself killed! As a mere spare!"

Cho could not stop herself from slamming her hands on the marble. She had gotten a full account from Harry later what exactly happened that night to Cedric - it was difficult to say to broke down first, Cho or Harry - and that part never failed to get to her.

Cedric was a person! Not an object, or a sideline character that was convenient for disposal! He had family, friends, Cho… he had so many people who loved and respected him.

Cedric was not a damned _spare_.

"You stupid idiot! Foolish bravery is for Lions, not Puffs! Stupid, stupid Cedric..."

Cho trailed off, wiping a fresh batch of tears from her eyes.

"You could've apparated to the Hogsmeade, taken Harry with you. But it's too late to talk of what-ifs, isn't it? And yet that's all I've been doing this past few years… What a nicely charred pot I am."

The wings on the pendant stopped fluttering for a second, before restarting again, but at a much slower pace.

"You know… everyone told me I should get rid of the pendant. Start again, and shelf that pendant where I won't ever see it again." Cho took a deep breath. "The thing is, Ced… I don't want to forget you. Forget us. I don't want to live in the past, but I am not about to give up on you, dead or no. So..."

Here she lifted the necklace, and smiling as she did so, looped it around her neck and clasped it at the nape.

"I will carry you with me everywhere. Whatever happens, a part of you will be with me and watch over me. After all, as stupid as you can be sometimes, you're still far smarter than me. I need you, Ced."

And didn't the confession make her feel ten times lighter, like she had grown wings. She hadn't realized it before, but she had walked with an incredible weight into the cemetery - but she'll be leaving it without it.

"I need you to watch my steps and shout abuse at me when I do stupid things. You know, like dating wrong guys, getting a crappy job, the likes. Will you do it for me?"

And for a second, a wind picked up for no apparent reason, ruffling Cho's hair and bringing over petals from the nearby cherry trees. Cho smiled, needing nothing else. Cedric heard her, and answered her in his own way.

 _About damn time, love._


End file.
